Things Keep Happening!

21:16


Everything right now in my life seems to be falling apart or going wrong! It's so frustrating because I can't seem to get out of this vicious circle and break free to fix it. I've been abandoning my blog because life has been too overwhelming and honestly, I haven't felt like blogging. Instead, I've opted to stick my nose back into a book, something that I have always loved to do. 

Last weekend, I travelled home to surprise my mum for Mother's Day. She was overwhelmed with emotion and really hadn't expected me to turn up. It was lovely to see her and we spent a day shopping!

 However, also while I was home, I had another of my rather expensive flute lessons in London. I've been getting a lot of pain in my fingers, hands, wrists and arms recently, to the point that after practicing for 4/5 hours everyday, my thumb has been getting shooting pins and needles into my wrist. Here strikes, repetitive strain injury! I've been told I must mitigate my exams and not play the flute for a month - what am I going to do? I've started feeling rather guilty about not being able to play and I've got quite frustrated with myself. I had a meeting today with the head of music, who really has told me I must not do my exams or play for a while. I also have to head to my GP to quiz them on possible circulation problems as this might be the cause. Also been told to get them to check my heart and my thyroid. Yay for having to have more tests being done on my seemingly failing body! 

I've been holding so much tension and anxiety in about various things deep down in my body recently, and my flute has become the focal point for it all. It's really quite bad, as I enjoy playing the flute and don't want that to become the problem. Better to catch it early and sort it out now rather than messing up my whole career plan!

So here is to me trying to not play the flute for a month (even though I've got a concert at the end of this week, which I have decided I will play in!!) Also with this, I have to kerb the amount of time I spend typing at my laptop as that also hurts and almost uses the same type of movements playing the flute does. 

Then also today, I had a hospital appointment and have been scheduled in to have an operation on the 16th May '17! Woohoo! Something I'm petrified about because I'll be having it in Chichester, away from my home comforts really. Away from mum! I felt too young to be sat there consenting to an operation without her being in the room with me! I've also got to get someone to come and look after me. 

My anxiety and IBS seem to be flaring up big time right now! As does my costochondritis (inflammation of the cartilage in my rib cage),  It all seems to be fun and games!

I don't really know where I was headed with this post, but I guess it was more of a "don't expect too much of me" at the moment! I'll probably be in and out a lot. 
xx

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