Five on Friday - 17/06/2016


It's time for another instalment of Five on Friday. This week I'm doing something different. Normally, I write about five things that I have been doing or five things that I am really liking that week. However, this week, I'm going to write about five things that have helped me to become a better person!
I've personally become a long way from the small shell riddled with anxiety that I was about 2 years ago when it got really bad. I still do suffer with anxiety and there's a lot of things that I wish I'd known then. I get annoyed and angry at myself when the anxiety flares up and it leaves me feeling a lot weaker. Almost as if I've jumped back these two years of getting stronger, even though I know I haven't. One thing that hasn't changed is that constant fear that someone is writing or talking about you behind your back or that constant fear that people don't really like you! I am also way too harsh on myself and I know that's one thing that I need to change - Greg is constantly telling me to stop being horrible to myself. 
Recently, I had a flute lesson in London (as it's one of the things I've set about doing to help me become a better flautist) and I had a long discussion with my teacher about my anxiety. She said I needed to be practising more mindfulness exercises, as the anxiety (although relatively under control nowadays) still comes across in my flute playing! 

"It's never too late to start over. If you weren't happy with yesterday, try something different today. Don't stay stuck. Do better.' 

So here are the five things that have helped me!


Accepting the change isn't going to happen over night, no matter how much you want it to!

This is one thing that I've really struggled with over the years. It's a long, slow process. One that takes time, patience and acceptance. You also have to be willing to change otherwise you'll be stuck in the same old rut. I was for a while, I was blinded. It was almost like I "enjoyed" the sadness, like it was comfortable. I thought I was changing, but I wasn't. I wasn't accepting it nor was I accepting help to change. 
Once I'd lost pretty much everything I cared about, that was when I accepted it. But don't leave it until as late as I did. 


Step out of your comfort zone!

I'm not all that great at stepping out of my comfort zone - sometimes I need someone to give me that little nudge. But you know what, I'm so grateful that they do push me out of that little cushy zone I create for myself.  Keeping an open to experiencing new things helps. Trying something you're scared to do and accomplishing it, makes you feel on top of the world. It gives you a sense of elation! 


Talk to people and be honest

People can't read your mind! You have to be open and honest with someone otherwise they can't help you. It may seem really scary and it may take some time but once you get whatever is bothering, you off your chest, I promise you, you will feel 100 times better than before! When you've built up the trust, talk to them when something bothers you, before it builds up and you explode. Be truthful with them, don't lie.  


Listen to people

On the flip side of talking to people, you need to make sure you listen to people also. It comes as a two-way thing, as with any relationship; it can't be one sided. You have to lend an ear as much as you need someone to talk to, otherwise it'd just be selfish. You can learn a lot by listening to someone! Even if it's listening to their advice and you never know, they may sometimes actually be right! It can change your life in a number of ways! 


Forgive yourself and love yourself

This is the hardest thing - I still haven't mastered it, but I thought it was an important point. The mistakes you've made are in the past, learn from them but forgive yourself for them. You can't change what's already happened. It's part of life! They won't be the last mistakes you make and someone said to me "I'm glad you failed" - you can't always be perfect, you don't get anywhere by being perfect! There's nothing to grow from. Love who you are! Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you love who you are, that you wouldn't change you for any reason - you'll feel so much better for both forgiveness and loving! 

WE ALL NEED LOVE! It's the one thing that keeps the world going and is the biggest game changer out there!! I hope this helps at least one person, if not loads more!! 


Victoria xx

I'm linking up with Carolina CharmA. Liz AdventuresHello! Happiness and The Good Life Blog. I would love to hear your five things, so add the logo and join the party! 

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