Where have they gone?


August and September just seemed to fly by? Without even stopping to say hello, they already seem to have been lost with the rest of 2014. It is just 82 days until Christmas day!! Meaning 89 days until the New Year comes in. If I'm honest, it scares me quite a lot that life seems to rush by - it continues to move forward even if we are feeling sad and if we are still stuck in the past.
My 18th birthday is next month and I can't believe that I am going to be 18. ME?! That seems silly, I feel too young to be 18 years old and to be classed as an 'adult'. It's crazy that I'm in my last year of education at a school (omitting the fact that I will be off to University next year). I still remember when I started in year 7 - or in fact, started school all together. I still remember bits and pieces of playschool (or nursery school) - eating my digestive biscuits and drinking my glass of milk every day. It really is crazy to see where I am today. I just really don't feel mature enough or even old enough to be almost 18. It means I have to start being more independent and not relying on my mum as much. Not that independence is in anyway a bad thing and I'm sure that people spend their childhood wishing they could be older and that they could be more independent, being able to choose what they can do instead of their mum telling them what to do all the time - but it generally means you have to make a lot more decisions on what to do and you take more of the fall if you choose the wrong thing.
Sometimes I wish life would slow down a little so I could take a moment to catch my breath and to take in what is actually happening. I wish I could gain back the days I have lost moping around, feeling sad, not doing anything with my life just so I could do it all again. Sometimes I wish I could do my whole life over again and wouldn't I do it differently?! But what's the point in wishing for something that just won't happen - so I guess that we just have to look to the future and enjoy every day and never look back. Even if the future scares you.
Applying to university is something that I have just had to do as I want to go to music college and today I got an email saying that one college had received my application and was processing it. This scares me so much - it's deciding the rest of my life, it's deciding my future. But I know, if I believe in something enough I'm sure I can get there in the end. With a little bit of hard work, you can do anything you want to do.

Victoria xx

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