Crazy Little Thing Called Love

21:22



 
Do we really understand the concept behind the emotion 'love'? Does anyone actually know the true meaning of it? It is such a complicated and special emotion but it seems to be taken for granted.
 
Nowadays the word 'love' just seems to be used as a throw away word - we never really use it to describe the deep emotion that it really refers to, 'We love you, Miss' when talking to a teacher doesn't mean the same thing as 'I love you, Mum' and again even that doesn't mean as saying 'I love you' to someone who isn't a blood relation (that you obviously have to try and love because you are a bit of them somewhere in the genetics). You can even love an inanimate object like a cuddly toy or a phone that clearly won't love you back in the same way. There are four types of love by which the Ancient Greeks came up with four terms for:
 
Agape - Unconditional love which sees beneath the surface to accept the recipient for whom she/he is, despite their flaws, faults or shortcomings. It is the love demonstrated by your behaviour towards another person. It is a committed and chosen love.
Phileo - Affectionate, warm and tender platonic love which makes you want a friendship with someone. It is how you feel about someone. It is a committed and chosen love.
Storge - Type of family and friendship love, one that parents naturally feel for their children, the love members of the family have for each other or the love friends feel for each other. Storge love is unconditional, accepts flaws or faults and ultimately drives you to forgive. It’s committed, sacrificial and makes you feel secure, comfortable and safe.
Eros - Passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings - simply sexual and emotional love.
 
Love seems to be something that we cannot dictate and we, ourselves, have absolutely no control over - we cannot choose who we fall in love with nor can we just switch off the feeling. The same way we cannot make the person we love, love us in the same way we do them. 
 
The type of love I want to talk about is Eros - the passionate, intense love which arouses the romantic feelings. This is because recently I have been swept up with this type of love and it got me thinking over what LOVE really is and what it really means.
 
For me, I have had a really interesting year in terms of love and relationships - mainly because for the first time I felt what it was like to truly, truly like someone. I did feel awful when I realised how I felt about him because at the time he was in a relationship with someone else and I had known this from the beginning, deciding to be best friends with him, but that was not how it stayed and I seemed to end up really liking him. I never, ever told him to break up with his then girlfriend and he knew how I felt. This meant things got pretty horrible and resulted in me never being allowed to talk to him again. This was the point that I realised how much I actually liked him as it upset me a lot. I tried pretending that it didn't hurt but that didn't work and instead made it hurt more and made me more upset. I spent days crying over him and that made me feel so stupid - why on earth was I crying over a boy?! One boy shouldn't make me cry like I was. The moment he messaged me again, was the moment my tummy flipped and I was so happy. But I knew I had to be careful - the situation was a bit volatile and anything could happen. I thought it was all going really well but it seemed to be the opposite and I was still getting really upset, but at this point I knew how I felt. It all seemed to come to a massive head around about May time - things had got to the point where I was incredibly attached to him and couldn't bare the thought of him leaving. But that was what happened. He couldn't do it anymore, he didn't want to keep hurting me. It felt strange without talking to him every day. I spent days in bed crying again and being upset. It got to a point where I just didn't care anymore and just did what I could to forget. I started going to more things, making it look as if I couldn't care any less about it. I put up pictures of me laughing and smiling, I even did something I totally regret - but because I thought it'd help. But that didn't stop me from missing him. I spent most of my summer trying to forget about him and not let it get to me. The week of A Level results was the week I began to miss him a lot - I had a bad week and I normally would've spoken to him about it and he would've made me feel better, but I had no one. I just wanted to speak even if it was to say goodbye. My best friend made me go to his concert (he wasn't the only reason I went - my friends were performing too) I still don't know whether it was a good thing or not because it made me so upset. I wanted to talk but knew it wasn't a good idea. He walked straight towards me and completely blanked me which was so hard to deal with. Then I got told to forget him the next week (by him, of course) which hurt like hell. You know the kind of crying that just starts off as sobs but it gets to the point where you literally can't hold it in anymore? Well yeah that was the type of crying I did. It hurt - felt like I'd been stabbed. I didn't want to say goodbye. I didn't want to talk to him again. But a week later he texted me - saying he couldn't do it anymore, that he missed me, that he wanted to talk to me. It took me a while to think about it but I knew how I still felt and after a 2 hour phone call whilst being in another country, it was clear that we were going to talk again. I'm so glad we did because now I can call him mine. The waiting, the upset and the hurt was all worth it for what I have now. I'm honestly the happiest I have been in such a long time. I feel amazing.
 
I know I've just rambled a lot but what I was trying to get at was that even after so much hurt and upset I was still sure that I loved him. I did all I could in that time to switch off my feelings and to stop loving him, to stop feeling things for him. But I didn't. What changed his mind? One week he didn't want to talk to me again and wanted me to forget him and the next he wanted to talk to me, he missed me and wanted to be with me. At what point did lust change to love?
 
Love for me, makes me feel all fuzzy and warm - it seems to paste a smile on my face constantly and when I'm upset it doesn't seem to last very long whereas before it made me upset all the time and feeling happy was a rather rare occasion and scared me. It gives me butterflies in my tummy whenever I talk to him. It makes me giggle at my phone and speak really quickly. It makes me want to freeze time and not let go of him. It makes me cry when I say goodbye after being together for two days. It makes me feel silly but in a good way.
 
Sometimes, love requires sacrifices. It's not an easy ride to be on. I know for a fact lots of people aren't happy about my relationship and I have lost a friend because of it. But as long as you're certain, I believe it's worth it.
 
I see my sister and others about 13 years old, saying to someone 'I love you so much' but in my opinion, I don't think they have the maturity or understanding of what they are actually saying to mean it. They don't understand what it is to have someone you can rely on, someone who is there for you and cares about you in a way no one has before.
 
I still believe that not one single person can really define or really have a good understanding of it but they can sure as hell feel it. Each person has a different idea on what it could be. But love is definitely not:
 
Manipulation
Compromising who you are
Violent
Purely Lust
 
We as humans, thrive being loved and being wanted by someone. Without it, we just seem to whither away and die. We fade into the backgrounds of society and get judged. Everyone seems to be out just to impress so they can be accepted and loved by others. It seems to have evolved throughout the years and throughout the different cultures. This love is potent.
 
Do animals feel love between themselves the same way humans do?
 
Victoria xx
 


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